What stunning words, you’ve written so beautifully about the relationship of loss and inner knowing. I think I’d always known I’d not be able to have biological children, again I thought a self deprecating dialog but seems to have come true. I often find myself trapped between believing in inner knowing and thoughts becoming reality. 💚
Many thanks Sheila, I swithered to mention it, thinking it best if you came to it yourself. It has taken me many years to get to this stage of being able to weigh up the losses with the undeniable gains that my life has presented me!
Perhaps thoughts do become reality and inner dialogues play outside our heads but I believe in my case they were merely preambles to different possible futures and that I can’t complain where my path has ultimately led to.
Not that the path has come to an end yet, who knows where the final bend will take us. 😊
I’m very much in wintering time and have pulled away from those relationships that could be considered gains. But I’m accepting it as a phase and can feel a defrosting that I hope will allow my broken heart to open to all the wee ones that may like to hang out with me. And own my auntie or tita status, as at the moment it still hurts it’s not mum status.
I have come to accept my inner intuition and trust it. As my infertility came with very real symptoms, although doctors told me they were ‘normal’ I think deep down I always knew they weren’t and it wasn’t okay. Also exploring the emotional side of being a mother figure to my siblings and wider family and rejection of that - but that’s deep stuff I’ve not really fully understood yet but is coming out now.
My path is very much beginning, we are in the process of adopting a greyhound. Between heaving sobs I reminded my pueblo chico that he said no baby = I can get a dog! He’s very much from a background of dogs are for the campo and not the casa, but here we are buying bits ready for hopefully a very soon adoption! Soon I’ll be a dog parent and I’m excited for that!
I find myself flowing with words for you today 💚 Sending love from the south 😘
I almost mentioned getting a dog!!! My ex-husband and I got a black lab puppy after we gave up on the fertility treatments and another loss. Mac was in many ways my son, as his name suggested, and he was my constant companion for 15 years. It took a fair few years to come back to dog motherhood but as you can see in other posts I have been Ma to Tod a rescue Collie for six years now. I highly recommend dog motherhood. Look forward to hearing about your galgo🐾💖
I’m so glad that you had such comfort from your Mac all those years. I’m really looking forward to dog parenthood, it’s the only thing that’s been clear since finding out I can’t have my own genetic children. I’ll be sure to keep you updated, we’ll hopefully be visiting Sunday and all feeling right bringing home a pooch.
OH!! Am excited for you! If you don't click on the first visit, just keep trying. The perfect pooch will find you! Sounds like twaddle, but they really do "rescue us" and not the other way around.
We’ve met four already and we actually have clicked with the same dog. So we’re going back, hopefully my husband is dying with hay fever, Sunday to see how we feel the second time. I can’t stop thinking about this dog, he really touched my heart ❤️
They really do! We’re thinking of renaming him Lugh, the god of light and sunshine. I’m describing myself as in a winter period, I’ve written something up but need to edit before I end about this. I believe this dog will bring light back into my life ☀️
Really moving. Thank you for sharing Darienne.
Thank you for reading Dick.
A pleasure! :-)
Really beautiful!
Thank you Jane
What stunning words, you’ve written so beautifully about the relationship of loss and inner knowing. I think I’d always known I’d not be able to have biological children, again I thought a self deprecating dialog but seems to have come true. I often find myself trapped between believing in inner knowing and thoughts becoming reality. 💚
Many thanks Sheila, I swithered to mention it, thinking it best if you came to it yourself. It has taken me many years to get to this stage of being able to weigh up the losses with the undeniable gains that my life has presented me!
Perhaps thoughts do become reality and inner dialogues play outside our heads but I believe in my case they were merely preambles to different possible futures and that I can’t complain where my path has ultimately led to.
Not that the path has come to an end yet, who knows where the final bend will take us. 😊
I’m very much in wintering time and have pulled away from those relationships that could be considered gains. But I’m accepting it as a phase and can feel a defrosting that I hope will allow my broken heart to open to all the wee ones that may like to hang out with me. And own my auntie or tita status, as at the moment it still hurts it’s not mum status.
I have come to accept my inner intuition and trust it. As my infertility came with very real symptoms, although doctors told me they were ‘normal’ I think deep down I always knew they weren’t and it wasn’t okay. Also exploring the emotional side of being a mother figure to my siblings and wider family and rejection of that - but that’s deep stuff I’ve not really fully understood yet but is coming out now.
My path is very much beginning, we are in the process of adopting a greyhound. Between heaving sobs I reminded my pueblo chico that he said no baby = I can get a dog! He’s very much from a background of dogs are for the campo and not the casa, but here we are buying bits ready for hopefully a very soon adoption! Soon I’ll be a dog parent and I’m excited for that!
I find myself flowing with words for you today 💚 Sending love from the south 😘
I almost mentioned getting a dog!!! My ex-husband and I got a black lab puppy after we gave up on the fertility treatments and another loss. Mac was in many ways my son, as his name suggested, and he was my constant companion for 15 years. It took a fair few years to come back to dog motherhood but as you can see in other posts I have been Ma to Tod a rescue Collie for six years now. I highly recommend dog motherhood. Look forward to hearing about your galgo🐾💖
I’m so glad that you had such comfort from your Mac all those years. I’m really looking forward to dog parenthood, it’s the only thing that’s been clear since finding out I can’t have my own genetic children. I’ll be sure to keep you updated, we’ll hopefully be visiting Sunday and all feeling right bringing home a pooch.
OH!! Am excited for you! If you don't click on the first visit, just keep trying. The perfect pooch will find you! Sounds like twaddle, but they really do "rescue us" and not the other way around.
We’ve met four already and we actually have clicked with the same dog. So we’re going back, hopefully my husband is dying with hay fever, Sunday to see how we feel the second time. I can’t stop thinking about this dog, he really touched my heart ❤️
They really do! We’re thinking of renaming him Lugh, the god of light and sunshine. I’m describing myself as in a winter period, I’ve written something up but need to edit before I end about this. I believe this dog will bring light back into my life ☀️
They are all yours